a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
