? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
