Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
