kristin has been a bad kristin
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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