Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
