"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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