Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
