its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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