I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
