my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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