That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
