i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
