Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
