piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
