is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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