Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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