i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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