I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
