my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
