I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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