Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I still have a little drunk in my system
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
