We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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