what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
