It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
