oh god the rape fog is back!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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