bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
