By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
