Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sorry about my life...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
