The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
