So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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