i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
