So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
