At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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