That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
