My nipple is on Facebook.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
