1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize