Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
