My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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