Me. At least after what I've been through.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
