no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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