i barfeds in our rink
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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