what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
