Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
