We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
