You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
