Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
