i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
