Your tits are I can't wait for
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
