it wasn't lemon gatorade
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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