You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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