Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
