He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
