thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
