NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You're like the curious george of whores
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up under a house in Key West
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
