How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
