His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
