Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
