i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
