just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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