She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
