But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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