Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
