everyone is single if you try hard enough
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
