I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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