When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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